The Proof is in the God Pudding

i was just showering and wondering if god pudding really would contain proof. some say that proof and faith cannot coexist and i think that is stupid and riduculous. however, the idea that proof and belief go hand in hand is misleading as well. two people can take the same happening or thing and view it as proof of entirely different things. it's all so subjective. it's like the chicken and the egg. do people believe what has been proven to them and prove whatever they believe? naturally, it is an annoying cocktail of both. one definition of proof is as follows:
3 : something that induces certainty or establishes validity
(that was the third definition. hee hee)
anyway. it's a lie. i submit that the word should be removed from language as it is rather pointless. math, on the other hand- you've really got something there. noone denies that 2 and 2 are 4. you'd be a fool! i love numbers.
if the bible were written in numerica, would it be universally incontrovertable?

Holy Crap! Visit This Website Immediately

I'm serious. It makes me want to crap my pants.

www.thebricktestament.com

Please. Does everyone else already know about this site? If so, why didn't someone tell me sooner!?

She named her daughter Relief out of respite

For days I've been trying to come up with something that might sound like a category on "Win Ben Stein's Money" that was a play on words using the word 'respite'. I'm dry. I've lost all literary talent or originality. I used to come up with such good ones...."The english teacher wore dipthong underwear" being my alltime favourite. "I pasteur on the way to the dairy farm" being another I rather liked. Oh well. My glory days are gone.
I live in my own special world. And in my world, one day I will read a headline in a paper that reads something along these lines: Normal Child Proves To Be An Inspiration To Retards and Underpriveleged. I am tired of handicapped people and retards providing inspiration to the rest of us. Why can't all the retards be inspired by those with properly functioning faculties and strive to improve?
I also want to be an unequal opportunity employer. Almost everyone in customer service these days is intolerably lazy. I want people to have to pass unfair tests that I administer to them before they get hired. I will continue the wanton distribution of unfair testing throughout the duration of their employment under my secular regime.
Christmas turns everyone into a bastard. Today, this man asked me for a savings bond application at work. When I told him I couldn't take it without a full mailing address, he got indignant. Now, I have been sick for about a week now- coughing uncontrollably and whatnot on the job for several days. I am starting to lose my tolerance for sour-pusses and morons. The idea that the Federal Reserve couldn't just guess the address to send his bond to was ridiculous to him. I told him I was sorry and he irritably said, "Just give it back to me." So I did. Then he wads it up in front of my face. I can be pretty childish when I want to, so I said, "Whatever." And he said, "Yeah, whatever is right." And I said, "Yeah! Whatever." And then I almost couldn't stop smiling at the absurdity of the exchange. I was being childish and I knew it and it was fun. That guy was a moron. I'm done with morons. I'm done with people who aren't nice. I'm done with lazy people. I'm done with people who don't like me and aren't nice to me. And I'm happier for the lot of it.
PS: I am knitting a hat and I hope I know how to knit hats. It's exciting. If it works, I'm moving straight on to socks and not even looking back. EVERYONE wants handknitted socks. Handknat. Handgnat. Order socks from me. I'll make you proud.

New Studies Show That Everyone Is The Same

According to recent studies overseas, men are becoming more like women, women are becoming more like men, and both children and adults are becoming more like teenagers.
Apparently this trend isn't limited to humans. As the title link shows, male fish are bearing eggs in the Potomac. I want all males to bear eggs, not just the aquatic, Maryland types.
I really like the following excerpt from the article:

Many scientists are concerned that people, as well as other animals, might be affected. "It's not good news that there's something that feminizes male fish in your water," said Gina Solomon, a senior scientist at the Natural Resources Defense Council.

That cracks me up. I want to be a senior scientist.

Maxx. At the end of Star Trek II:The Wrath of Khan, McCoy tells Kirk: You know, he's not really dead as long as we remember him.  

Yep. Pastels and everything.  

Tesia and Amber at the Grand Canyon.  

I REALLY like this picture of Tesia. It's like she can't find her way out of a tree- her hand is held to her brow in bewilderment and a clear, poetic shadow is cast across her face.  

That Olde English goes down like a whore! 

People make strange faces when they talk. People buy strange shirts when they visit the desert. People visit the London Bridge in Lake Havasu City. There is a fountain guarded by lions and cowgirls near the London Bridge.  

The burial place for the worlds tiniest antlered creature.  

Some of the view of Lake Havasu City from atop the big rock mountain we climbed. You know the one. It's shy one spider. Tesia said the desert was far greener than usual right now. They've had lots of rain.  

I abort struggling desert life. Hire me for your gardening needs.  

"Is this the train to desert moon?", was all she said. (remember that song?) 

hefeweizen means white cow. i swear.

so i haven't been writing because i'm surrounded by barren rocks that can't have children much less houses near them containing computers. hee hee. it's beautiful. the desert is one part florida, three parts mars served dry. the other day, we climbed a big rock called tabletop mountain. when we got to the top, there were a couple of cute spiders. i let one of them crawl on me and toby smashed it with a rock. he looked at me like i was the height of childish stupidity and said, "don't you know these spiders could be poisonous?" i could've explained that i don't know about the deadly tabletop mountain spiders of arizona. it was cute. poor spider. i think it had a baby. to change the subject, we have great pictures that i will post when i get back home.
in sad news, sue came to our house to feed and water our cat and plants and found maxx the cat dead in the dining room with head up against the wall. it makes me sad that his head was up against something cold, hard and lifeless. he probably wondered where the hell we were and why we weren't petting him in his final hours on earth. we're not sure what happened to him. probably that stupid stone in his bladder got lodged in his urethra and his bladder burst spilling toxins that poisoned his poor kitty body. i had never had a house cat before him and we've had him since....1998, i think. i had only just started REALLY liking him since we had started shaving him. he was a maine coon- a very large cat. so we had to call and find someone to go into our house and bury our large, dead cat while we were vacationing on mars. after a few carefully placed calls, a friend of ours dug a hole in our backyard in the cold, rochester rain and buried our dearly departed for us. that's friendship. they all (because actually it seems like half the city of rochester was involved in burying maxx- i probably overestimate though) acted like they were a little afraid of him- they peered at him from around the corner and said his name like they were afraid he was going to junp up suddenly and attack them and say aha! but maxx was never even mean in real life, much less posthumously mean. strange. poor kitty. i'll stop talking about him now. maybe i'll post a picture up of him when i get home.
there are lots of nice people in arizona. lots of nice rocks. lots of nice cacti. lots of dead spiders.
okay. i'm off to lake havasu to find pretty rocks to put in a fish tank. my new "best friend" and i are going to get goldfish. hee hee. more on that later.
ps: there are all kinds of rules to best friendship. at least forty or something.
pps: i also learned how to play poker.
ppps: i met a deaf japanese woman who speaks asl but can only read lips in japanese. she was nice.
pppps: i bought 3, count them, 3!!! new books.
ppppps: i think people are waiting on me. i have to go.

when i think back on all the crap i learned in high school

curt was asking if anyone reads my blog. there isn't really a way to tell unless they comment. i told him that a couple of people stop by occasionally that i know of for sure. when i told him their usernames, he asked me if i was sure they weren't martians. hee hee. you know who you are- gar and brendar. have you guys thought about how your names sound martianlike? it hadn't crossed my mind, but it's pretty funny.
i like reading the blogs of others. it's interesting to see all the various styles. you can almost tell immediately whether someone is a crashing, vapid bore.
i definitely think that the music you hear as a child shapes your personality. curt listened to lionel richie and paul simon. he is overall a fairly happy go lucky creature. who am i to blow against the wind? i listened to johnny cash and pink floyd. i am like the creature that crawled out of the druggies swamp only to freeze to death while picking cotton.
i dropped tiberius off at birds unlimited an hour or so ago. they are going to keep him while we vacation in the desert. i feel sad that tiberius doesn't understand that we are coming back for him. the owner of that store intimidates me big time. and i am not easily intimidated.
i also bought a dinosaur village playset today for $3.99. an excellent find. i will transport photos of the carnivores in their natural plastic setting forthwith.
your friend,
la fille du fromage

Tragic Invasion of the Guatemalan Worry Doll Village.  

no, me- unawares 

fire and sulfer

there is only one group of people that i would like to slaughter indiscriminately. those are the people that write checks at the grocery store. i know this rather riggs and sets up the elderly to take the brunt of my fury and seems to single them out largely for obsoletion. but seriuosly, to heck with them. i am no mercy on this point. young or old, male or female, widow together with young virgin- get an effing checkcard or something. make your time and mine productive. you will sleep well and satisfied in death. thank you. the end. (clapping)

the late night work of the honorable "shishini"