i smell saturn near uranus

i guess i sort of really celebrated them this year, the holidays. not that i have
family or friends to buy for, or money to spend. heh. i did get some
lights, put up a tiny tree about the size of a modest vase and bought
a fresh wreath from boy scouts. or rather, a scout leader. i'm not
much for actual scouts. i don't agree with giving boys badges and
prizes for (wow, you know, if you slide your hand just slightly to the
left and type "for", you'll accidentally type "die". creepy! die,
scouts, die!) building fires and finding their way out of forests.
boys get enough recognition just for having penises.
what do i get for having a vagina? certainly not a badge. raped,
maybe? well, not me. i rarely go out or speak with actual people. and
i never wear miniskirts or provocative silk tops with diving
necklines. those sluts are just asking for it. if i wear silk, i'm
asking for a sweat ring the size of saturn, or rather, saturn's rings-
which, when you look at them through a telescope, are more
butterscotch coloured than anything else. i remember when i first
looked at saturn through a telescope and realized that the rings weren't
all candy coloured. at least not all the time.
at any rate, they aren't made of sweat and they probably smell better.
ice and dust smell way better than me.
of course, i was pretty young when i first saw saturn's rings. i don't
think i would have carried the childish notion of rainbow coloured
rings into my teens.
"cammie" just called and asked to speak to the lady of the house. eat
dial tone, "cammie"!
anyway. of course i don't have an actual problem with boys, badges,
and penises. only in theory, you know.