flowery lamentations

there is no shortage of beautiful walkways, dusky breezes flirting about, and endless rays of warming sunshine that stretch out in a display of luminescent geometry. birds were chirping and expensive houses were sitting pretty. i was trying to cross the street, reading the dhammapada, and all these arrogant pricks were zooming in and out of their driveways as if their life, or at the very least, their happiness, depended on keeping me from crossing the street and walking home for lunch. streams of disgusting, negative filth gushed out of my mouth, violently spewing into the spring air. i came home and cried. why can't i be nice??? anger and shame are served on the rocks of my soul. i'll stand you up to a drink sometime. or knock you down to one. i'll never be mindful. the buddha said:
mindfulness is the path to immortality.
negligence is the path to death.
the vigilant never die,
whereas the negligent are the living dead.

i feel ghostly. i want to command the rolling chariot of my body and not just hold the reins.
phil collins once said:
Oooohhhh, you know i wish it would rain, rain Doooowwwwnnn on me now.
hee hee.
at least my self-hatred quickly turns flippant dismissal.
as drivin and cryin' once said:
i'm goin' straight to hell
just like my momma sa-a-aid.
i'm goin' straaaight to hell.

had they been buddhist, they would have specified "cold" or "hot"