then i woke up

so i was in this room talking to these people and i said that i wanted to work in the lobby of the grocery store. they said okay and i was very excited indeed. i've always wanted to scan items and whatnot. i kick this girl out of her little cashier place and i prepare to take the next customer. before that, there is some sort of problem with an atm that i have to fix. after that is taken care of, this GIGANTIC rusted out truck with monster tires pulls up in my grocery lane and asks if i can check his oil. so i open the hood and climb up there and pull out the stick, but i need to wipe it off with something. i go running through the yard (the grocery store has now turned into my grandparents yard) looking for something to wipe the stick off with. right about this time, a voice, as if from god, makes it known that the guys head is actually empty- the truck driver, that is! so i finally wiped the oil stick off with a dried leaf and ran back to put it in his truck and actually check the oil, but now there is this big commotion because the godlike voice said the drivers head was empty. so he takes an almost empty bottle of salsa and somehow pours it in his head, which is now semi-transparent and you can just see this salsa-ish pulp swishing around trying to mask the fact that there is no brain. then he starts running around the yard until his head explodes. working at the grocery store was not as i expected.
that was the last dream i had before waking up last night.
also, a moment ago, i saw a commercial for heated condoms. this is strange. is this for eskimos?

Dryer Sheets

I childishly clung to a vision of goodness. I guess I thought it softened the load of life.
As far as softeners of the fabric (of the space time continuum) go, Snuggle reigns as king. I presently hold that to be a symbolic universal axiom. If everyone snuggled, I think many problems would be solved. Take, for example, jihads. You would feel kind of silly declaring (do you actually declare jihad, or is the enemy just supposed to 'know'?) jihad against someone you just snuggled with, wouldn't you? I think snuggling would move people to shame in a variety of helpful arenas. Body odor and it's cousin, perspiration, would be effectively eliminated. Who wants to snuggle with a sweaty person? People who sweat should feel ashamed. The only draw-back I can see to this, is that it might encourage obesity or generate a softening in our attitude toward it. People might start to like snuggling with soft pillows of fat. There are still a few kinks that need to be worked out, I suppose.

"SHE SEEMS TO HAVE INVISIBLE CRUTCHES!!!!"