i WILL eat the middle of yer kuchen

i promise you, i will.
i had a splendid idea today: designer fragrance enemas.
yepperdooper.
i may actually start up a site or blog soon entitled "fecal matters" that will be entirely dedicated to poo in general and mine in specific.
i just had greasy, yummy dim sum.
my parents were resently here and we took them to niagara falls and toronto. lots of cyclists in toronto. my dad would fit in well. i remember riding bikes with him as a teenager and him zooming past me bellowing (or the closest thing he does to a bellow), "the road wasn't made for turtles!". despite the fact that i have been reading since i was 3 or 4, i still forget how to punctuate exactly when quoting. so much for trying to deceive folks into believing i am of above average intelligence- that being, of course, my primary goal in life.
(imagine furrowed eyebrows)
another saying my dad used to taunt me with while we were cycling was this: get those little legs moving like pistons! i really hated that one. for some reason it made me feel dirty and uncomfortable. perhaps it was the "engine talk". my father also once rode his bicycle directly over a dead, swollen possum. his bicycle tire popped the possums body open like a can of Grand's biscuits. (Grand's is naturally paying me heartily for that endorsement of their fine-read: sorely lacking- product)
sigh...
the sue unit is staying the weekend in nyc, i believe. i wonder what adventures she will have there. she is nice and i am grateful for her friendship. i haven't had many female friends in my life. maybe that's my fault. i have always tended to blame it on womankind, though. despite my pseudo-feminist leanings, i get very disgusted with my own gender. however, i know several that have good reason to be disgusted with me. why is life so very confusing? it's like pasta. it's all over the place and hard to follow and leaves you feeling heavy.
i want more friends. friendship is such a simple concept and yet people tend to think you strange when you try to develop one with them out of the blue. what's the big deal? am i creepy? we build houses in a giant world and say, This is mine! Keep out, world! However, you are beautiful, I will put windows in my house. Storm windows, though-so that i am not affected by you, world. And just for good measure, maybe I'll throw up some curtains, because I know everyone else is unnaturally interested in what goes on with ME.
we are all idiots. just read our blogs.