Don't Make a Speculum of Yourself!
so i haven't been to the gynecologist in three years. i went this morning. i was getting ready to go and i put on red lipstick because i thought it was the obvious choice for the sweater i would promptly be taking off when i got to the doctors office. then i realized that red lipstick is a little too come-hither for a gynecological exam. so i swapped to brown. i looked infinitely less excited and gussied up at that point. does that make sense at all?
ps: the doctor had a visible booger in her nose throughout the entire procedure.
ps#2: about 8 inches of snow since last night and counting. yay! one needs to be surrounded by something pristine after vaginal violation.
ps: the doctor had a visible booger in her nose throughout the entire procedure.
ps#2: about 8 inches of snow since last night and counting. yay! one needs to be surrounded by something pristine after vaginal violation.
posted by la fille du fromage at 2:49 PM
10 Comments:
My mom has always had her exams by just whoever he GP was. Isn't that freaky???
Me, I have yet to ahve one. I hope I am not missing out.
I just notices the big red dot on your hit map centered on las vegas. I am so busted for stalking.
It must be in the air. I just thought about that myself. But I am not as bad as it looks. Our computer is flipping out, and refusing to open comment windows, so I've tried two billion times trying to understand why. But a little stalky I am at the moment. It's just nerves. Lucky for you we both live about equally far away from you, giving you lots of time to hide and make preperations.
-Jeanne
uh, preparations.
-Jeanne
Oh yeah, and I was playing a game pressing "next blog" on your site, then going back and pressing again. I had to, because I wondered if one had permanent "neighbors" or not, and the very first blog that came up when I tried belonged to someone named Amber, who said "I am a retard" in exactly your tone of voice. This freaked me out sufficiently to keep me checking your neighbors for quite a while. It looks like Sweden's gotten cancer if you check your map. Here is the other Amber's blog. She was only your neighbor once. Actually, I'll publish this first because I think it will disappear if I click on anything else.
-Jeanne
http://waltzingfeet.blogspot.com/
This is even weirder. It did say, "Yo, check me out. My name is Amber" at the top of her page. I have that sentence saved in my Favorites list as her link. BUT IT DOESN'T SAY IT ANYMORE! I am not a fruitcake, even if the evidence would imply otherwise.
-Jeanne
yippee!! i'm giddy with the friendliness. lets all get together and watch teletubies or poohbah! ummm....i am member of a stalking union, so you guys needn't worry about that. stalk away. it makes one feel needed and loved.
that other ambers blog is obviously teeming with demon activity. i'll have to look into this matter. i'll send over and cyberexorcist to take a look at your computer, jeanne. i'm not going to worry about my spelling today. not in the mood.
i actually went to my gp this time too, but only because she told me too. i ASKED first because i thought it was creepy, too and made me seem like a perve. but a rather lazy perve. there is no reason to be frightened of lazy perverts.
...and more importantly, If you are a lazy pervert probably you won't put up so much of a struggle. You will probably even enjoy it ;)
It does seem like such a weird thing, and asking is almost like asking for a date or something. Finding a gynecologist must be a pain, though.
PS I thought of becoming a union stalker because of the benefits, but there were too many rules and regulations for me :(
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