Tuesday, August 08, 2006

sand in my corporate vagina

if you'd like to have a strong masculine figure train you how to do your job and how to make constant glaring mistakes but not accept personal responsibility for them because you know the female of lesser human value sitting next to you will eventually fix them and help you appear to be a shining example to your peers, come to the bank, where i work! i hear they are training young men for this very purpose RIGHT NOW! hurry! get off your ass! you, too, can be a strong presence in the male dominated corporate world. there are tons of hard working women just waiting to crawl on their elbows to clean up your trail of pathetic, shitty work in the near future. men should have to train women and women should have to train men. "but that by means of an equalizing your surplus just now might offset their deficiency, in order that their surplus might offset your deficiency, that an equalizing might take place." (2 Cor 8:14) you see, god says. funny how "god says" only works as an excuse for the nation of israel.
Whooops!

5 Comments:

Blogger Jeanne said...

If I had a strong, masculine figure I would be able to run without holding an arm across my chest. My strong, feminine figure has gotten a little out of shape lately, and fixing it up is so time and energy craving that Yes! I might consider trading it in. Thanks for the suggestion.

5:52 PM  
Blogger brendar said...

Sorry to hear of you corporate vaginal discomfort. Also sorry to hear that a man was the source of the afore mention discomfort.

Jeanne, I do the same thing when I run down steps-and I'm a dude!

7:38 AM  
Blogger Jeanne said...

Perhaps monsieur requires a Manssiere? A Bro?

9:28 AM  
Blogger la fille du fromage said...

Oh, no problem. Sorry for being whiney and crass.
Oh, and ME TOO, Jeanne. I just spent an ungodly amount of time trying to find a pair of pants that fit both my legs and my ass, which apparently must have come from two seperate bodies altogether. They join together to create a freakish, unshapely nightmare that doesn't lend itself to clothing so much as draperies. Let's start a new line of clothing. Unnatural Curves. Hideous Silhouttes. Nightmare Lady. Hmmm...none of those really flow. What brand name would appeal to the fashionable monster?

2:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think a line of "Monstrous Ass" jeans would be great. Also, it would take some real courage to wear such a thing. I bet they would be all the rage.

I can't really wear jeans at all or I look like an idiot. Well, more so. Women's jeans fit me, though. Why god cursed me with such a bizarre leg and hip configuration, I have no idea. Thick gigantic thighs on stubby, short legs, with unbelievably thick ankles, wide hips, and a flat/nonexistant ass. Not so good.

5:52 PM  

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